I know continental Europeans are open about this stuff, but at what point do you ever actually need to use a sex shop in an airport? Do you get a call from a business colleague and hear he’s delayed half an hour, or does the monitor alert you to the fact that your parents’ holiday charter is running over schedule, and you think to yourself, oh, I know, I’ll just kill the time cracking one off in Toss’R’Us? Mesmerised, I amble in and find all the usual stuff – DVDs, toys, magazines, underwear. There are even private video booths, so if you’re ever on a delayed flight to Frankfurt and are being met by one of those men who holds a placard bearing your name, for your own sake, don’t shake his hand.

Philip Nolan (2007:45), Ryanland: A no-frills odyssey across the new Europe. ISBN: 9780340935934

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